Thursday, August 23, 2012

Why Are There So Many Whores on Twitter? UPDATED

I recently joined Twitter.

(Don't be scared follow me @MatchmakerJane)

What I find really interested is that there are a surprising number of whores on Twitter.

I don't just mean Kim Kardashian - I mean actual whores. Like "hey watch me do myself with a zucchini on my web cam" kind of whores.

I'm confused about a few things:

1) Are they just cam girls or are they also actual whores?

        1a) If they are actual whores how does tweeting help their business?

2) Why are they following me on Twitter? I'm a chick and I have zero interest in checking out their ham pies. Nor am I going to retweet their ham pie pics for my followers.


3) Are people so lazy with looking for porn that they have to have it in their Twitter feed? Do we not have Google with billions of hits of pornography right at your fingertips? Can't you find just about anything you could possible be into like tentacle rape featuring bisexual grandmothers eating chocolate dipped custard with sprinkles. Are you really that lazy with masturbating that you can't open a new window and search? Why does it need to be on Twitter? If you are too lazy to search for pornography and thus have to have it in your Twitter feed then you desperately need to re-evaluate your life.

PS I just realized that someone is going to stumble upon this post looking for Tentacle Rape Videos featuring bisexual grandmothers eating chocolate dipped custard with sprinkles and is going to be sorely disappointed. So with that -

Dear Pornographer Explorer,

I commend your adventurous taste in masturbatory aids. Really, its quite creative. I simply strung together several things that I thought were completely nonsensical. But I think as we all are aware Internet Rule 34 is well in play.

Allow me to express a truly heart-felt apology. I certainly hope that stumbling across this blog did not deflate your urge for your particular fetish and I wish you luck in procuring the appropriate video.

Best of luck in you "do."

Jane

3 comments:

Lady J said...

This made me laugh... I have also noticed the high number of whores on Twitter.

Since I am newish to Twitter, followers excite me, but when I realize it's a naked woman with the tag line "drunk and horny waiting to meet you" my excitement dies. I'm not sure Twitter is the right avenue for prostitution, but good for them for branching out into social media. Funny post :)

Rhiannon Faragher said...

Wow I thought it was not allowed to put stuff like that up on twitter. Funny post

happy-little-feet said...

Wow I thought it was not allowed to put stuff like that up on twitter. Funny post