Sunday, August 19, 2012

What the crap, Mio?

I don't know if you have seen these commercials, but they are utterly perplexing.

The premise is that there is some sort of jungle bar/hang out where all of the wild animals hang out and drink...Mio?

First of all, what the hell kind of business model is this? You own and operate a bar where your patrons are simply ordering water and filling it with their own product. How is this profitable? There is no notion in the commercial that the bar actually sells Mio. In fact, it seems that all they sell is water. How much could they possible be charging for water to cover their overhead?

Secondly, how often is the jungle police called to this place? You are seriously going to have a lion getting all hyped up on corn syrup and artificial colors next to a gazelle? Like that doesn't end in murder? Is this bar in a bad part of the jungle?

Thirdly, why would this commercial make me want to buy Mio? What is it selling me? The jungle bar lifestyle? Why would I want to be like a rhino or a judgmental ostrich?

And you know what's a fun thing to do at a bar Mio? Drink. Like alcohol. Not Mio. If I wanted to drink your shitty syrup I could stay home and do that from the comfort of my own home. No self respecting person is going to go to a bar to simply drink something from their house.

Get it together, Mio.

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