What Happens When Idiots Roam Free?

Today I actually had time to run errands and of course, because my life is glamorous, I get caught behind the dumbest person ever. No seriously. I've never heard such a conversation before in my life.

Let me set the scene.

It's me standing in line at the bank. There are only two tellers (yeah wow that merger has really made my bank better! I'm looking at you TD Bank) and one of the tellers is occupied with something stupid and so is the other teller.

Here is the actual conversation:

Dumbass: Um, so when I like select debit the money comes out of my checking account, right?
(This starry eyed dumb ass is using her debit card as a prop)

Obscenely Patient Teller: Yes, that's correct Miss

Dumbass: But when I like select credit, it comes out of savings, right?

OPT: No. The money comes out of your checking account

Dumbass: But they told me that's how it works! (Her lip begins to quiver)

OPT: I'm sorry it doesn't work that way.

Dumbass: So, um, how does this work again (she is pointing at the debit card)

OPT: The money comes out of your checking account. The money is debited against your account.

Dumbass: [she stands still processing this for a moment] But what about my savings? It comes out when I hit credit.

OPT: [slowly losing her patience] Did you set your account up to work that way?

Dumbass: [who is a minute away from crying] They told me - my savings?

OPT: No, it comes out of your checking account unless you specifically request for it to work differently.

Dumbass: Oh, okay. I'll just use the ATM from now on. This is too confusing!

Indeed.

I had the good fortune of following this, eh, Mensa member out to the parking lot. I watched her walk up to MY car and put her ckey into the driver side lock. She looks the car up and down. Looks confused. Tries her key again. Looks at the car again. Tries the key again. Frowns. Looks at the car and finally walks away. I watch her walk towards a BURGUNDY civic. Which could easily be confused with my SILVER giant ass SUV.

Some people should not be allowed to leave the house without a chaperone.