Replace Water Boarding

Do you have any idea the level of torture it is to write about a past relationship in the present tense? Like they should consider replacing waterboarding with talking about your ex in the present tense. Those terrorists would turn so fast.

It makes me throw up in my mouth to write sentences like "I love him SO much.". GAG. NO. SUCK.

It was one thing for me to write about the breakup. Everyone wants the opportunity to paint their ex as the horrible mustache twirling villain at the end of the affair. Luckily I got to do so and it was also an accurate depiction. Only difference? I wasn't tied to the railroad tracks with some heroic savior just in the distance. I was tied to the railroad tracks with the train barreling down while he laughed. Asshat.

Writing about the beginning of the relationship, not so much fun. I've had to switch my thinking and think from my "characters" perspective in that moment not my perspective months and months later. Initially it was really hard to write those things. I think right now I just feel so removed from it that it does feel like two characters I've dreamed up. Not actual, real experiences I went through.

All I can hope is that adding these things into my book will make it a richer, better book.