Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Operation: Get This Stuff Going

Over the past few months I have been valiantly working on getting my life up, running and belonging solely to me. After I left the disastrous matchmaking agency (story to follow) I decided that life was taking me down a particular path. Never before had I had such a surge of creative energy. I spent days working tirelessly. I finished my memoir about working at the matchmaking agency and finished all the work related to my business. I did this all in record time. I would wake up early in the morning and work until late at night. I was exhausted but exhilarated. Every word and every action I took was for me. It was all to build up my own life and start something that was totally mine.

It took over a month for me to get everything together for my business. There was a lot of writing and planning to be done. Plus, since I refused to pay the insane charges of web developers (5 grand for a website, really? REALLY?) I had to teach myself HTML. That was definitely trial and error. However once I got the hang of it I had a website up and running at the end of a weekend. Yes, I do in fact rock.

I was building an empire. I just knew it. I had visions of Oprah declaring me the best thing to happen to women since her. I saw my website being featured in magazines and really important websites. I saw myself decked out in amazing clothes having everyone wanting my opinion. I saw big, fat checks flying in from every which way. I saw opportunities pouring in. Really? My own fashion line….well, if you insist. Book deals? Why thank you. Like I said, I do in fact rock.

So with visions of fabulousity dancing in my head I pushed forward. I figured as soon as I went “live” that visitors would clog the bandwith. I had my little website tracker up and was waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. I figured something had to be wrong. It was saying that only a few people looked at the site. There is no way. People are supposed to be losing their damn minds and forwarding it like it’s hot. Why is no one forwarding it like its hot? Did the fabulousity sear their eyeballs and render them immobile? Yes. Let’s go with that. Obviously no one can forward my website with their seared eyeballs and being left in a catatonic state. Okay, so maybe I need to wait until everyone returns to their senses.

Still nothing. Asshats.

Eventually a bit to come through. Thank the Lord above. My aunts boss needed someone to talk to people in the office about how to dress professionally. She recommended me. I was so excited. I could see this totally rolling into a big huge thing. I would be the international super star or corporate dressing. Human Resources departments would clamor for my expertise. Begging me to come, at any price, just to hear what I had to say about dressing in the corporate casual urban environment. Oh, I can see it now. Me in fabulous outfits with a room full of women all dying to know my secrets to looking amazing all the time. Their attention would be rapt and they would take copious notes. While it would be informative it would be above all else fun. Everyone could laugh at themselves and see the mistakes that they make. I would assess women right then and there. There would be no tearing down to build them back up. It would be build up only. I would point out everyone woman’s best qualities and teach them to dress.

With renewed energy I set about making the most kick ass presentation possible. I have to thank a former boss here. His obsession with all things computer related certainly taught me a thing or two about Power Point. After some contemplation I finally settled on creating a lookbook. I would show them rights and wrongs – mostly rights. The presentation would be chock full of amazing information and be funny. I spent weeks slaving over creating the perfect presentation. On the day of the presentation I was certain that I had the most amazing presentation ever. I knew what I had to say would blow the girls away. I knew it would be life changing for them and hopefully for me as well.

The presentation did go amazingly well. Everyone took notes and asked great questions. It basically erupted into a total girl fest. We were all laughing and trying to help one another. It was great. Real women helping women camaraderie and I had fostered it all. I was so excited after the presentation. I was worried that people were just being polite until lunchtime. The HR Manager told me she learned a lot and was really pleased with the whole experience. SCORE.

Now its just a waiting game. I’m waiting for her to hire me to go out to another one of their offices to do my presentation. I’m waiting for her to spread the word about my fabulousity. Patience has never been a strong suit of mine.

No comments: