Quiet Saturday Afternoons

Me: "What the hell do you have on?"

Fella: "Safety goggles, hockey mask. You know, for safety."

Me: "And what exactly is all this safety for?"

Fella: "Cutting down the tree out back."

Me: "So you'll have a chainsaw?"

Fella: "Yup."

Me: "And a hockey mask with safety goggles?"

Fella: "Yup"

Me: "You look like a special needs serial killer."

Fella: "You know what would be funny, if I was naked."

Me: "Yeah because I think most men believe the safest thing to do is have wood shrapnel and a chainsaw near their exposed man parts."

Fella: (totally ignoring me) "Oh man, then all the neighborhood kids would be totally afraid of playing on our lawn."

Me: "Yeah and that whole 'Meghan's Law' thing will make it even scarier."